No more frozen knuckles!

The first two decades of our marriage were highlighted with the annual discussion about putting up the exterior Christmas lights -- the discussion was rarely pleasant! Sorry, but chicks just don't get it. They've never experienced the frozen knuckles that accompany the task (high atop a wobbly ladder)...when hammer hits bare skin after bouncing off frozen rain gutter....shi-i-i-i-i-yikes! So imagine how wondrous it is to put up Christmas lights on a sunny (warm!) afternoon, where the only ice involved is the ice on the outside of my chilled martini glass...raised in a festive cheer when the job is complete! How I love California! Happy, happy holidays! -Merrill

Photo: The twinkling lights go up: reflected in the window of our holiday "spare bedroom"...the Toaster, our Airstream trailer!

If you can't stand the heat...

This photo was taken in the kitchen of The Tower Restaurant at the Paris Casino in Las Vegas. Cousins Usha and Emrys Rees (who we love and adore) had just been treated to an orgasmic meal of French cuisine, what a delight!

But, AFTER the picture was taken we hustled ourselves into the elevator, where we were accompanied by three other tourists in Vegas -- three young ladies (ages about 25-30) from England. The cute little wee one looked up at me (in my cowboy hat) and said, "Are you a real cowboy?"

To which I answered, "Oh yeah, darlin' I'm the real thang! You oughta see my horse!"

Then one of her companions said, "She's been looking for a cowboy ever since we arrived in Las Vegas!"

So I put my arms around Martha and said to the sweet young thing, "I'm sorry sweetheart, you arrived a little too late. I already have my cowgirl."

But you know in my heart I was thinking what every red-blooded male would be thinking: "Martha, I love you. But right at this very moment I wish you were a thousand miles away."

What happens in Vegas...is all nonsense. What happens when you return to your hotel room with your wife...now you've hit the jackpot! -Merrill

(Photo: The meal cost a fortune but it was worth every penny. When the spoonful of creme brule hit my mouth, I wanted to die in ecstacy right there and then! And I don't even like creme brule!)