Walking on water...

Walking on water is the easy part!

Keeping romance alive...now that's a miracle!

But it's totally worth the effort. Give it your best shot!

We're flyin'....

We're flyin'....
How can it be that a guy who loves California so much is having so much fun flying around the ice in Summerside, PEI...could it be that this is the place where he learned to skate, or is it that he's chasing a pretty girl? -Comments welcome

PHOTO: Martha captures Laura and Merrill doing their thing at the Credit Union Centre in Summerside, PEI. Laura admitted: "This is fun Merrill, but I feel more comfortable with a hockey stick in my hands!"

Using her gift!

Our grand-niece Darcy was given an amazing singing voice, so it only seemed natural to us that she would have fun sharing it. It felt like a bit of a risk taking a 3-year-old into the recording studio but, omigosh, she was amazing. Her first song: a duet with Merrill, "Jingle Bells". If you want to hear it let me know and I'll email you the file. We had such fun.

Photo: Martha helps Darcy with her headphones. The recording was made in Crapaud, at the studio of Reg Ballagh.

It's not what it seems. It's worse.

The photo doesn't even come close to capturing the day. High winds. Driving snow. The first big storm of the year. But on the bright side, we are almost guaranteed a white Christmas, because from the look of the forecast, this stuff is not going anywhere anytime soon.

This is our first Christmas in Canada in about 5 years. The white stuff is simply "making spirits bright. Oh what fun to ride and sing a sleighing song tonight!" (comments welcome)

Photo: This was just the beginning of the horror. An hour later I was stuck in a snowbank at the end of the driveway.

A word of advice: find great friends!

Life is short. Find great friends. Here are two of ours. Liquid gold. I don't know who we have to thank for them but, well, whoever...thank you for Ralph and Tara. Ralph is 18 going on 12, a man we worship and adore. And Tara, well, sorry, there are no words.....(posted by Merrill, comments welcome)

Photo: Ralph studies up on "Sex and the City" and dreams of the day when Samantha comes into his physiotherapy clinic with back problems!

I dare you!

I dare you to look at this picture and NOT get in the Christmas spirit. It's not possible. This delectable dessert was created by the amazing Tara, who claimed, "I just whipped it up. No biggie."

Typical understatement for Tara -- a woman who routinely refuses to acknowledge her amazing-ness!

The evening was yummy. Tara and Ralph are gold stars on our calendar. An evening spent with them is an annual highlight.

Christmas is coming. Thank you Tara, for giving us the visual...and the taste. (posted by Merrill, comments welcome)

PHOTO: I don't know how she did it but, baby, it was as orgasmic to taste as it was to look at!

Ah! Show Biz!

It was a job somebody had to do.

Some local actresses needed publicity photos for an upcoming performance in nearby Charlottetown. So Martha and Merrill volunteered for the job. I was the photographer and Martha looked after jewellery and wardrobe for the girls. It was, to say the least, a slice!

Never a dull moment here at Wyndham House. -posted by Merrill (comments welcome)

Photo: Our sweet but camera-shy model shows what she's got ...the real thing!

Those eyes. A window into that amazing imagination of hers!

Darcy! Darling Darcy. Check out those blue eyes. Yummy.

How lucky for me and Martha! We got to be the ones who entertained Darcy on her very first sleepover away from home. She spent two nights with us at Wyndham House and she -- we think -- loved every last minute!

I enjoyed being her personal slave, "More ice cream Darcy?"....."Oh, you don't like Cheerios, how about some scrambled eggs?"....."Why of course we can watch, Mickey's Christmas again!"

But my favourite moment was when we helped her write a letter to Santa Claus. We drafted it, put it in an envelope, put a stamp on it and walked to the end of the lane and put it in the mailbox. As she closed the door on the mailbox she said, "Happy Christmas Mr Mailman!"

"Very telling," I thought!

At a moment when she could have been thinking only about herself and the presents Santa would bring, she was thinking about the mailman, the guy who would deliver the letter.

Oh, Darcy! Here's wishing you every imaginable happiness in life darling. (comments welcome)

Photo: Taken on the little wooden Biteau Bridge that goes "bumpity, bump, bump". She insisted we wait for at least 12 cars to go "bumpity, bump, bump" before we headed back to the house.

Properly disguised

"Hallowe'en. We like to think of it as just one more day we can disguise the fact that we are incredibly, inutterably, indelibly....insane". (comments welcome)

Photo: The event was "Spooktacular" at the local middle school. About 200 kids aged 7-14...and us, the biggest kids of all.

Magic is still alive

The local Historical Society held their fund-raiser here last night, it was called "An Evening at the Manse". About 24 people attended, and almost all of them had stories to tell: their childhood memories of being here in the house when it was the church Manse.

One comment stands out. Barbara Clement stood in the doorway of one of the bedrooms and said...

"I remember sitting on the edge of the bed in this room when Patsy, the Minister's daughter, told me there was no Santa Claus. I guess I already knew it," she said with a big sigh, "But I just wanted so desperately to believe."

Thankfully Barbara realized last evening that Martha and Merrill are doing everything they can in this old house, after all these years, to convince everyone that there really IS a Santa Claus. (comments welcome)

Photo: We used leaves to fashion a magic pathway from the church parking lot across the yard to Wyndham House...or, as it was known last night, the Manse.

I'm in Heaven!

Well, maybe not Heaven, but at the Gateway Arena in Borden. Skating for the first time in about 5 years. I'm a little shaky but I'll get the legs in shape over the next couple of months. But here's the very best part...french fries with ketchup out of a paper box. Now that's living! See, I still am the luckiest man alive. I'm salivating just writing this! (comments welcome)

PHOTO: by Martha, who also had some fries and a hot chocolate. They have a great canteen here. I'll be back!

He asked once too often!

Finally, Merrill asked for sex...ONCE TOO OFTEN.

"Enough," said Martha, "that's it. It's time to do this thing."

She decided it was easier to live alone than put up with the constant....well, you know!

Happy Hallowe'en. (comments welcome)

PHOTO: by Katelyn Craswell, who also helped Martha dispose of the body!

We are...Charlotte.

We confess! We have become addicted to "Sex And The City".

We are hooked. We can barely go 48 hours without another hit.

And, like all other addicts (to the show) we ask, "Which character am I most like?"

At first it wasn't clear...but then, when we saw the movie (which is the 6-year "climax", when all the story lines are resolved and the series is finally over) it became obvious: We are Charlotte. (I apologize to those of you who haven't followed the series).

In the last few minutes of the movie there is a scene in which Charlotte confesses to her friend Carrie: "I have everything I ever wanted, she says "I'm so happy that I'm terrified.

"No-one gets everything that they want," she continues, "and of course something bad is going to happen to me."

And later, in another scene, Samanatha looks at Charlotte and asks, "How often do you feel happy in your relationship?"

To which Charlotte replies, "Every day."

Incredulous, Samantha persists, "You feel happy every day?"

"Yes." says Charlotte, "Not all day every day, but every day."

The few seconds of silence bear witness to how lucky the girls feel Charlotte is!

We are Charlotte.

-posted by Merrill (comments welcome)

ADORATION. Too strong?

Is it too strong a word? If I mention the Craswell girls, why shouldn't I use the word "adore". Shown here are photos of Laura, Katelyn and Christine (Lois is away at school)...and once a year they come to spend the night. It's a night when Merrill straps on the apron, and his vest, to become their slave and worship these gals -- and serve them popcorn and drinks while they watch movies with Martha. It's their "diva" night and I look forward to it all year.

My friend, if you get to meet women like this just ONCE in your life then pal, you are a man most blessed. Merrill is a lucky man. (posted by Merrill, comments welcome)

Photos: Merrill feelin' the love from his girls. And Christine sportin' her stilettos (a gift from M&M) proving that girls from Tryon don't take a back seat to the gals of "Sex and the City"

SKYY high

I was in the liquor store yesterday, with my sister Barb, topping up my stash of vodka. We were checking out. I think everyone thought Barb was my wife. I looked at the cashier's nametag then said to her,

"Arlene. Is it stuck on, or is it all the way through?"

"What?" she replied.

"Your little diamond nose stud." I said.

"Oh, no," she said, smiling, "it's pierced all the way through."

"It's very pretty," I told her.

There was a moment of awkward silence as she put our bottles into paper bags, then gave us our change. But I could tell she was about to say something. She smiled.

"I don't think I should probably show you my belly ring." she said.

Okay now at this point I'm smiling too. She's a live one. So I leaned way over the counter to get my face closer to hers and whispered very loudly so everyone could hear, "Let's wait 'til next time darlin', when she's not with me." Barb and I exited the store and headed for the parking lot.

It was a SKYY high moment.

When I recounted the episode to everyone in the car, including my Mom, I told them the cashier was about 19 years old – just to make the story juicier.

So Barb says, from the back seat, "Oh for heaven's sake Merrill, she was in her fifties. You're gonna get yourself in trouble one of these days."

I can only hope.

If you're gonna tell a story, tell it all the way through. -posted by Merrill (comments welcome)

PHOTO by Martha, who now fancies herself a rival to Annie Liebowitz.

An indoor pool. How crazy.

Many questioned the wisdom of building an addition onto our barn and installing an indoor pool...

...look at this photograph people: I'm a genius! - posted by Merrill (comments welcome)

Photo: Our nephew Lowell and his sons Ryan and Jacob go, well, just nuts, in the indoor pool at Wyndham House. Fun? You betcha!

Summer! Is it overkill to say I adore it?

Here they are: Cole (grandson) with his new friend (my nephew's son Jasper) and Martha's daughter Mary -- also known as my step-daughter Mary (who considers me chopped liver, for the record). But guess what, they're all having fun at our picnic/beach day at Cabot Beach in PEI.

Summer. It's worth waiting all winter for. And one of the lovely moments was watching Cole and Jasper become, well, just buddies! - posted by Merrill (comments welcome)

A split second...

Sometimes a split second makes the wait worthwhile...look at this moment: my grandson Jack being thrown into the wet horizon (on a beautiful warm July afternoon) by my nephew Stuart...what a wet and wild moment...it was worth waiting all winter for, this magic moment. Go Jack. Go Stuart. -Merrill (comments welcome)

Photo: This beach (near Morrell, PEI) is pure magic. The place where Bill and Harriet shared summer magic with their grandchildren. All grandparents should be so lucky!

Pushing 90

Look at her. In her 89th year. Harriet. Mom. And here's what she said to me yesterday..."When people ask me how I am, I'm going to tell them: I'm better than I was yesterday but not as good as I will be tomorrow." Hey, it might not be original but she meant it and that's good enough for me. A month ago she was in the hospital after a bout of pancreatitis. Look at her now. The woman's got guts! -Merrill (comments welcome)

Photo: Harriet with her great-grandson Jack, in the woods near her home, where she walks about 3 times a week. )

Let's Talk Dirty

Okay, the photo may seem a bit risqué but, well, hello, it's just me and Kaz (my super-fit daughter-in-law) posing for a shot that advertises my new diversion: it's called "Let's Talk Dirty" You see, for years I've been talkin' sexy talk, basically for free...so I decided to work up a routine in which I can talk dirty and get paid for it. Voila: "Let's Talk Dirty" I'm available ($220/hour) for private parties and stagettes (female version of a stag party) and hey, I will actually get paid for it. The dress rehearsal (and focus group of 15 "open-minded women") was last night and it went...well, okay. Lots of laughs but the gals in attendance (and Martha) told me lots of things I can do to improve (story of my life!)
As part-time jobs go...it's better than being a greeter at Wal-Mart! - Merrill

PS Re: the photo. Martha was the art director but I was the photographer. We used a mirror and I took the shot. Not bad if I do say so myself.

How happy am I?

How happy am I? Well, I looked at the clock yesterday, and I swear to God, the second hand was going backwards!! Now that's happy! -Merrill (comments welcome)

Photo: Yes, we're consuming a bit too much alcohol. But, look at the photo, is the pool half-full or half-empty...half-full my darlin's. And the photo shows me waiting for it to be totally full!! Bring it on. And, oh, by the way, isn't Martha becoming quite the little photographer? She's amazing!

My new favourite shirt!

The shirt cost me $3.99, but I've been looking for it for 20 years and it's now my fave! But Martha and I can't agree: is it better with the traditional cowboy hat, with black jeans...or is it way cooler with white pants and the contemporary "Brad Pitt" hat? Cast your vote to our email address. Do we have way too much time on our hands...oh, my goodness YES! That, my friends...was the PLAN! Yowza! -Merrill (comments, and emails welcome)

Photo: Martha has captured her favourite lunatic modelling his new shirt -- purchased at a local thrift store. If you can manage to have this much fun for $3.99 you HAVE ARRIVED! Welcome to retirement Nirvana.

"Martha! Zoom in. For cryin' out loud!"

Okay, this is not the shot I was looking for. Martha was supposed to photograph only the shadow on the wall (interesting eh?) but this is what we got...a cover shot of a pathetic old bald guy in sleep pants and T-shirt! Alas, life is what it is and, well, it was a fun photo session. Martha is fast becoming my favorite photographer...because her subject is, well, me. Her images are even more interesting when her subject is naked -- no, we ain't sharin'. -Merrill (comments welcome)

Photo: Shadows on the wall...keep your eyes open for them. Often they're more interesting than the real thing.

Ouch! But it was fun!

You might recall me mentioning our next-door-neighbor and beloved friend Susan [who we worship] (who also just happened to beat the odds last year on a lung cancer diagnosis).

Anyway, shown here is the mess she made of her Dodge Durango when she "dodged" certain death on Hwy 62 yesterday.

I felt ill to my stomach just looking at the car, and thinking of what COULD have happened. The other car was totalled.

Susan is in great shape (she works out religiously) and her reflexes are quick so she managed to almost avoid the other car (who stupidly pulled out right in front of her).

Anyway I asked her, "Oh my God, are you okay?" To which she replied, "Yeah, actually, it was kind of fun!"

Okay, remember me saying that Susan had this amazingly positive spirit and a positive way of looking at things? Well...I rest my case! -Merrill (comments welcome)

Photo: I think we all should aspire to looking at something like this and thinking, "It was kinda fun!" Perfect that talent and the rest of your life will be a fun ride!

Cheers! To Jesse.

It was one wacky wake. Jesse Bolling was a real character. He was 72-years-of-age, had a zillion girfriends and lived life to the fullest -- and I guess it could be argued that he lived a little too much! Jesse died from injuries sustained in a car accident...he had stolen his son-in-law's car (that's Mike, his son-in-law, in the picture) and was driving (under the influence) from "The Virginian" (a local bar, his hangout and the venue for his wake) to another bar in town (to meet some more of his girfriends) when he was T-boned by another car. Well, Jesse never recovered, and died from his injuries about 2 weeks following the accident.

What are the lessons learned here? There are none really, I guess, except that we're all headed for the same place, and well, let's just smile and laugh a lot along the way.

Mike has worked for us tirelessly for the past season (he's perhaps the hardest working man I have ever met) and has helped us get a lot accomplished. His wife Marge (shown here alongside Martha) has her own issues and problems: Marge fights the demon alcohol, probably has post-polio syndrome, probably suffers from sleep apnea, and probably will never recover fully from the insults inflicted on her by "a hard life". Are we glad we met these two? You betcha. Are they gonna need all the help they can get in sorting things out? Yup.

Bottom line: Martha and Merrill are still the luckiest people alive.

Here's to you Jesse! Fifty people showed up at your favorite bar to say good-bye. To say, "We miss you man!"

(posted by Merrill, comments welcome)

Photo: Mike , Marge, Martha, Merrill -- at "The Virginian", Jesse's hangout!

Sex. It's all in your head pal.

Go tantric. A message to all my guy friends out there: forget Viagra, the secret lies in a happy life, and shooting in the 90's of course. And, oh, despite what the medical disclaimers might say, having an erection that lasts more than four hours is not necessarily a bad thing! -Merrill (comments welcome)

Photo: Merrill doin' his thing at the Death Valley Golf Course, on May 19th. On that day the hottest spot in North America was, yup, Death Valley....118 degrees Farenheit (bring it on). You'll note I am holding my balls in my hand and dreaming of new distances I can reach with my driver.

There's a snake in my boot!

Okay, well maybe not in my boot but there's a snake in my pool drain. I was pressure-washing the walls of our swimming pool today (in preparation for it's bi-annual paint job) and found this interesting little guy (about 36 cm long) hiding in the drain.

Have you ever seen a little Chihuahua puppy barking it's head off trying to be scary? Well this little snake made all the "Indiana Jones" moves imaginable - in an effort to scare the sh*t out of us!

It lunged.

It jumped.

It bit the broom handle.

It flicked it's little tongue.

This snake had spirit!

Anway, we coaxed him/her into a bucket and relocated him/her over the fence -- after which he/she promptly crept back onto the property to flick his/her little tongue at us a few more times just to make sure we knew who was boss!

The last we saw of him/her was under the oleander bush...and I'm sure, alas, we will probably meet again. Gotta love the desert.

And oh, just in case you're wondering, yes, give me a snake any day over those f***ing mosquitoes who flick their little tongues under my skin and suck my blood...now that's creepy!! - Merrill (comments welcome)

Video: Not sure what kind of snake this is. If you have any idea, please let me know.

The kid's got a gift!

Here's my prediction: the kid will be a VERY good golfer. I know, I know, I know...his left arm is not straight and his left heel is off the grass but, I was there, I saw the whole deal and well, it was pretty sweet. He's got a natural gift. During his 40 minutes on the driving range I said absolutely nothing to him, I practically ignored him, and well...when it was all over he said to me, "Merrill, I think I need to use the long tees, it works better when I set the ball high with my driver." Yikes! It took me two years to figure that out. The kid's got a gift! -Merrill (comments welcome)

Photo: Cole whacking away at the balls (without any instruction or direction from Merrill) at the Little Course in Franklin, Tennessee. And he did just fine! And hey, the kid does look good in a hat don't ya think?

Safe! Cole steals home.

I never played little league ball so this is all new to me: watching our grandson Cole play is loads of fun, especially when he scores a run for his team(see photo) on a close call. The scoreboard tells the story. His team, the Dodgers, got clobbered, but the important thing was...he was IN THE GAME, giving it his best shot. I hope he can keep that going for the rest of his life! Play hard my man! Win or lose, it's all about having fun! Go Cole! -Merrill (comments welcome)

Photo: Cole steals home but alas, his team -- the Dodgers -- lost the game. But Nana and Merrill are still his biggest fans...go Cole, go Cole, go Cole!!

No. No. No. Not a bunion!

My foot has been killing me for the past few weeks. I thought this was a result of me dropping a wheelbarrow full of gravel on it...let me tell you that really, really hurts. Anyway, the pain did not go away over time so I had X-rays taken, had 2 consultations with orthopaedic surgeons and...wait for it...well, today -- give me a moment to compose myself -- Dr Parker in Palms Springs looked up at me with his eyes peering over by big toe, and said, "Congratulations, you have a bunion!"

Crap! Crap! Crap. Doctor, tell me I have a torn ligament. Tell me I have tendonitis. Tell me I have a broken bone but DON'T tell me I have a bunion. Why? Well....that's for chicks! It's a woman's thing. Have you ever heard of a GUY having a bunion? You may as well have told me I have an ovarian cyst! Chri-i-i-i-i-iky!

Well it turns out that lots of guys have bunions but, well, I didn't want the first surgery of my life to be bunion surgery. But HEY!!! Here's the good part -- isn't there always a silver lining? -- Martha has had four bunion surgeries so, well, it's familiar territory and now SHE gets to look after ME during my recovery! Which will probably be sometime in the fall of this year in PEI.

These old bodies continue to break down but when all is said and done, Martha and I are still are the luckiest people alive: I came home from my doctor's appointment, I told her about the diagnosis, we had a martini in the pool, we watched a funny movie and went to bed early. Bunion, shmunion. Big deal. The sun is still shining here in California and tomorrow will be another another great day. -Merrill (comments welcome)

Photo: Actually Martha and I had already half-guessed that it was a bunion thing, after doing some Internet research and some poking of my foot. Never underestimate the importance of web-based research when it comes to your owm health issues...it's a geat resource!. Use it!

Beware the desert's terrible beauty.

Oh my freakin' lord. We took the 4-wheel-drive vehicle out to the desert today and saw lots of great animals (see Mr Chuckwalla) but we also took a wrong turn and got ourselves onto a rugged mountain trail that made Raiders of the Lost Ark look like a Sunday School picnic. Let me put it this way, if I didn't have 30 years experience driving in the snow we would probably not have made it back!

It was shit-your-pants scary but also exhilirating because, well, we survived. Let me quote Martha: "Oh my god, oh god, oh my god we're gonna die."...which prompted me to stop the vehicle and say to her: "Martha, I'm nervous too, but that isn't helping, so let's just drink some water, chill a bit, and I promise I'll get us out of here alive." Which I did.

It was, well, yes...fun. We saw two endangered desert tortoises, chuckwallas galore and a great-looking snake. Now that's a fun way to spend Sunday morning! -Merrill (comments welcome)

Photo: This chuckwalla is shedding his skin after winter hibernation. He was a bit grouchy but tolerated us and allowed us to take his picture.

Three amigos.

Thumbs up to fun. Look at these three. Let's review who they are: Martha was born in Kokomo, Indiana. Lynda and Liz were born in Prince Edward Island...and yet here they are in 2008 in the California sunshine -- having the time of their lives (best buddies, smiles all around) in our pool in the desert. Who could have guessed that their lives would have ever connected...that their paths ever would have crossed. Some would say that this is proof that God exists. I would say rather it's all about the (good) choices we make. Seeing them smile just makes me want to smile too! And if you're part of the human race, you probably feel the same. Go ahead. Smile, and feel good!! Living. Sharing. Smiling. It's all good! These gals are friends. They're having fun. -Merrill (comments welcome)

Photo: Lynda and Liz experience the wonder of a heated pool on April Fool's Day, 2008. Wintry Prince Edward Island seems far, far away.

GOOD. Friday. 2008

It happened on Good Friday, at about 3:30pm. I was in the parking lot of the local Circle-K convenience store/gas station. I was waiting for Mike, my painter, to return with the pack of cigarettes he seemed to need. Anyway, while I was waiting I spied an SUV (next to me) with a man and a little kid (obviously his son) who were buying some firewood -- apparently for their weekend camping trip in Joshua Tree National Park.

I couldn't help myself: "So are you going camping in the Park this weekend? Look at those mountains." as I pointed to the mountains in the distance , "I wish I was so lucky. I wish I was going camping in the Park this weekend."

The guy responded, "Well, you're welcome to come along if you know how to cook on a campfire!" Okay, that was actually quite funny. "Hey," I said, "I think you'll do just fine. Have a great weekend!"

And I meant it. Easter weekend. This kid and his dad have been looking forward to this weekend all year. And here they are on the cusp of one of the most memorable weekends of their lives. And here am I...a witness to it all. And guess what -- when they've done their thing and are headed back to Los Angeles on Tuesday morning, I can grab a cup of coffee, head up to the Park and sit for a few hours in quiet solitude, just contemplating this amazing place -- who's the lucky guy here??? I am definitely seeking to re-define Good Friday. -Merrill [comments welcome]

(Photo: Merrill and Martha's Airstream trailer plays an important role in an afternoon (veggie) weiner roast with friends and family: Joshua Tree National Park, February 2008)

Look at this kid...!!! (and play this video clip)

Did you ever wonder why people seem to go on and on about their grandchildren? I am a lucky man because I have two (count 'em, two) grandsons, and they make my life totally worth living. Well, take a look at this kid doing air-ukelele in Kaua'i, Hawai'i. Is he having fun? Is he having the time of his life? Is he driving his mother hysterical with laughter? (you can hear her trying not to laugh out loud!). This, my friend, is why grandchildren are the one BONUS of living past the age of 50. Well worth the trip. Jack, you are the man! -Merrill [comments welcome]

Where the heck is she?

Okay, this is a contest! If you can guess where Martha is I'll send you a cheque/check for $25! Or, should I say, I'll send the money to the person who comes the closest! Here's a hint: the following day she lost one of these acrylic canes (she slipped, and it went splashing into the Pacific Ocean) when she was walking down the ramp to the glass-bottom-boat tour! Anyway, we had a fun, fun, fun weekend with our friends Norm and Susan (who also happen to be our next-door-neighbors here in Twentynine Palms). Another hint: "gotta love California." Another hint: why is it that we seem to be drawn to islands??? Send your answers to weale@ca.inter.net and contest deadline is April 23, 2008. This little airport was famous. And oh, by the way, doesn't she look great? She's my favourite redhead!! -Merrill

(Hey: The contest has been won by my world-famous cousin Bob Jones who guessed Catalina Island. Well done you crafty sleuth! The acrylic cane is still missing!)